He hated me for longer than he loved me.
I’m now not sure he was ever in love with me at all.
I think he was in love with the idea of me.
Of the person he thought I was. Of the person he thought he could be with me. Of the life that he dreamt we could have together.
In love with an idea and a future.
Not in love with the person he would have to deal with in order to make it to that future.
There is nothing worse than revealing everything, all your uglies, all your bruises and deformities only to be rejected because of those things.
To enter a relationship with complete honesty about the person you are, only to be rejected for being that person. A person he was at your age, if not worse.
For someone to reject you for your mental illness, some of which you can control, but the majority that you cannot. For someone to reject you while you struggle to get better.
But then you remember, he has done this to the girls that came before you.
He is the type of men who takes the good and then leaves you at your worst.
Thank you for making me realise just how strong I am.
Oh how clearly I see your flaws and your ugliness.
I hate everything about you, why do I love you?
Happy day late birthday, my handsome prince.
I’ll always be grateful that you were born and for every year you’re alive.
I love you, now and forever and nothing will break that.